the cradle list

8:22 PM

So, as many of you probably don't know (ha!! I have two friends that read this thing.) I want kids. Like, bad. And it's not just like "ohhh I want a baby because babies are sooo cuuuute" kind of thing. I just can't wait for our little family of two, to become a family of three.. and then four. haha. I was ready to be a mom before I was even married. I'm not even kidding. The idea of getting married has always scared me (until it happened of course) but kids have never scared me. When we first got married, we were going to wait, but that lasted about a week... basically until we went to church together. babies everywhere! ha! Really there is a bigger story there, we didn't just see a baby and decide to have one. There were other things, and we just knew it was time to start trying.

Anyway, despite what they tell you in High School, having a baby is hard stuff. And trying/hoping for a baby 16 months in a row, and then not being pregnant is exhausting. It really is. And here's the thing. I know people out there have it worse than me, I really do. For some people it takes years and years, but that doesn't mean I don't get sad. Because it is an emotional thing. Plus, I think it's okay for me to think 1 1/3 years is a long time. It's like spending the whole month of December being excited for Santa to come and then waking up to Christmas morning and having no presents under the tree. over and over again. EVERY 28 DAYS PEOPLE. As much as I try not to, I can't help but get my hopes up, the anticipation builds, and then it all gets shut down. And then I try and forget about it, but I see babies everywhere.

So anyways, the other day a How I Met Your Mother rerun was on TV. I kid you not, the exact scene that played at the moment I turned it on was the one where Lily and Marshall and they were in a cab. They were talking to each other and admitted how nervous they were that they weren't pregnant yet and that they were afraid there was something wrong with them. (Um hello, is this me talking? or what??) But then they went on to  say something to the degree that this isn't a race and that it will happen when it happens. (I have been trying really hard to see it that way...)  THEN they said they were making a "Cradle List" where they would make a list of everything they wanted to do before they had a baby. So I showed Dan that episode and we decided we should do that.

For the next little while I am not going to worry about it, I am going to focus on my new schedule (yay school!) and work on completing the cradle list. :)  I am going to put my faith in the Lord and trust that he has a hand in this, and that the timing just hasn't been right.

So, the list Dan and I came up with is....

  1. Hike Timp - I did this for the first time the summer before I met Dan. I want to do it again.
  2. Go to Vegas
  3. Lose 20 lbs (for me) 50 lbs (for Dan) - If I can't be preggers, I might as well get skinny, right?
  4. Paint the House - we want to paint the trim, the back wall in the living room and the bathroom.
  5. Go snowboarding. If funds don't allow, we will go sledding. We will take what we can get. ha!
  6. Read the entire Book of Mormon
  7. Go to Moab
  8. Go to all the temples from Ogden to Provo - I think there's 8? That's what I'm counting from memory...
  9. Go to 7 Peaks at least once. We love water slides!!
  10. Golf 18 holes together. We can do 9 holes, two different times if we need to.
  11. Go to the shooting range (Dan's idea... I'm afraid of guns, but I'll try it... I guess haha)
  12. Take an Archery Lesson (we got a groupon and haven't used it yet! I wanna be like Katniss!)
  13. Get a massage
  14. Beat Dan in Ruzzle. HE IS SO GOOD!!!!

THAT is what we're going to do while we wait for the stork to drop a baby off on our doorstep. And if you see me and I look fat... I'm not pregnant. I've just been stressed about getting there.

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